- Kelly: I can't believe they're dating. So weird.
- Me: Who? Who's she?
- Kelly: Sandra Lee. She's on the Food Network, etc.
- Me: Ah yes. I know her. Who is he?
- Kelly: Andrew Cuomo.
- Me: *blank stare* Um. Who's that?
- Kelly: Um. The Governor. Of New York.
- Me: Ohhh. That's right. New York is a state.
- Don't blame me. First, I just moved her. And b.) as far as I'm concerned, the City is all I need to know about.
I’m heading to Costa Rica tomorrow and I am getting a spray tan today at Brazil Bronze, which is on the same floor as my office. After perusing the website, I have learned they offer Vajazzling. Jennifer Love Hewitt spoke highly of vajazzling (from Brazil Bronze) on “Lopez Tonight,” and here’s my issue: um, why? I mean, I know this is old news, but I have thoughts and I would like to share them, dang it.
What makes one think, “Man, I really want some sparkly crystals on my pubic region!”? And then! And then! What makes you think, “DUDE! This is going to look so good!” I mean, what is it for? What is the purpose? Are you going to look at it? It’s clearly going to get stuck on your underwear (I guess only if they’re lace, but you understand). Is it for yourself? Like, you want to know that you have a sparkly vagina? Or, is it for your lover? Because, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I am pretty sure if any dude spotted… um… that, he would freak out and run for the hills. I could be wrong. Maybe a dude is all “Wow I am so glad you made it glittery because without that I would have never slept with you.”
That being said, I am totally getting Vajazzled today. (10)