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This evening I am shooting  my screen test for a company that shoots eCommerce videos for businesses, nothing too exciting.  If it was for a Judd Apatow movie, that’d be a different story.

Well, I’ve decided I look much better tan.  I’ve tried to be pale, some beautiful celebs are pale, I can’t do it.

So this morning I spray tanned myself using Sephora Self-Tanning Tinted Bronzing Mist. I consider myself to be quite the expert on self tanners.  I have used pretty much every product (aside from the ridiculously expensive kinds) on the block, and have discovered by far, Sephora’s is the best.  This spray self tanner has an aerosol can that gives you an amazing, easy mist to work with.  However, I do have some recommendations to making it work best:

1. Shave and exfoliate first. Duh.
2. Lay out a million towels around your bathroom floor.  Seriously, this stuff is pretty greasy.  I didn’t say it was the cleanest, but I guarantee you you’ll rather have a hassle cleaning up than an orange-streaked arm.
3. Turn on the fan in your bathroom or you might die of tan lungs.
4. Have your blow-dryer plugged in and ready to grab (on cool or low heat, idiots).
5. Starting with your lower legs, do small sections at a time, and blow-dry each section a bit before moving on.
6. Work your way up, doing forearms last, leaving your hands out.*
7. Stand there like this for a bit, if you bend your arms, you may have triangles of white in your elbow pit.  Trust me, all of these tips are because I know from experience.
8. Time to spray your hands: hold your hand as if you’re palming a basketball (not that I can do it, but just giving you a visual).  Spread your fingers wide, but bent a bit.  Spray the tops of your hands.  Do both. Duh.  Take a small towel and wipe tanner off your finger nails, unless you’re into that look.
9. If you can, walk around naked until you dry off. Trust me, this stuff is greasy and for most doesn’t smell pleasant.  Me? I love the smell.
10. I personally don’t tan my face, because I wear the correct color foundation, then add bronzer.

And like magic, you’re tan! Well, you’re a little bronzed, but give it a few hours, and BOOM, you’re tan!

*Now, the purpose of this post was originally because of my experience this morning.  You’re probably wondering why I am praising my self tanner skills with a picture of terrible tanning victim, and all around life victim, Lindsay Lohan.  Well, this morning, I woke up later than expected, but simply had to tan.  Normally I like to have time to dry a bit.  This morning, I didn’t.  So I chose not to tan my hands, because styling my hair would be impossible with greasy tops of hands.  I was going to wait until I was done, then spray the tops of my hands and be off to work.

I bet you can guess what I forgot to do.

Thank goodness I have a smart boyfriend who said, “Can’t you just go buy some at lunch and spray them?” Brilliant.  It’s just, I already have 47 cans at home! AND sometimes Sephora is out of this stuff, so I hope they aren’t!

Today I = Lindsay in the above picture.  Tan body, white hands.  Actually, now that I think about it, I am probably worse since I only tanned my upper body.  But unlike Ms. Lohan, I won’t be wearing a cocktail dress on the red carpet in my self tanner blunder. One up for me.

UPDATE: Guess what? I forgot Sephora has “Try Me” for every product, so I just sprayed my hands in store and walked around waving them to dry.  Did I look like a crazy person? Maybe.  Did I save $18 on a bottle of tanner I don’t need? Absolutely.

I watched Good Will Hunting for the first time ever this week, yes, week.  I kept falling asleep, I have an early bedtime to adhere to so I get a good 10 hours of beauty rest.

The falling asleep became quite unfortunate since I was watching it on VHS and it’s wicked haaahd to get back to the right paaaht.

Ever since watching it, I read and think in a Bahston accent.  Tumblah. Faahk yoo.

If you watched Moulin Rouge (I know, I know, YEARS ago) and didn’t genuinely fall in love with Ewan McGregor, you might have no soul (even if you are male).

Last Thursday at Alamo Drafthouse Ritz was a sing-along for Moulin Rouge.  I had no idea what to expect, other than people, well, singing along to the songs in Moulin Rouge.

When we first got there, after waiting in a mile long line, we were given a few props: a light up diamond ring (various colors to choose from. Guess what I chose: starts with a P and ends in Ink.), a maraca, and a green glowstick, with strict instructions NOT to break the glowstick until the correct time.

The Action Pack comes up to the stage to tell us what’s going to happen: movie plays (weird, we’re in a movie theatre), songs come on, we sing.  Ok, so they didn’t say that. That was me being sarcastic. I apologize.  The Action Pack was hilzarious and if they need me to join them, I’m, well, funnier.

They had strict rules on people quoting or singing earlier than the movie, they’d kick you out. Well, wouldn’t you know I was stuck next to this 19 year old Satine-wannabe (seriously, she kept coughing up blood for effect) who wore a black leotard and a red can-can skirt.  Satine, Jr. decided I didn’t need to hear Nicole or Ewan in the movie, I needed to hear her.  She quoted said every single line, word for word, gasp for gasp, laugh for laugh, sigh for sigh, for a good portion of the flick.  I didn’t have the heart to tattle on her, but she did get some looks, and I figured she’d get tired at some point (apparently, giddy 19 year olds don’t tire).  Well, soon enough the absinthe kicked in and I could barely hear her.

The sing-along was so amazingly fun and I love the fact that Austin does great fun things like that.  We broke the glowsticks when Kylie appeared as the Green Fairy, wore our seizure-inducing light up diamond rings for “Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend” and shook our maracas for “Roxanne.”  Please note: “Roxanne” is toward the end of the film, and as annoying as maracas sound now, they weren’t so bad after absinthe, mojito and sangria. This sing-along left me wondering if Ewan knows people do things like this….

Ewan, I love you.  Would you like to come to a sing-along with me and get married?  No?  How about a @missjennab on Twitter?  Don’t Tweet? WELL SCREW YOU!

Gossip Girl comes back on air March 8, and could I be anymore excited? 

Last we left off, Serena was still a slut who needs to meet a hair brush (note: She totally jocked my hair color in the above pic, the same hair color I’ve been complaining about getting rid of. You’re way behind, S.). Nate was still hot, but is getting wittier.  Chuck was still perfect.  Dan was still in plaid.  Vanessa was still hated by all.  Jenny still needs to wipe off the liner.  And my dearest Blair, well, she’s still my dearest Blair.

In all honesty, as far as fashion goes, S and I have more in common, I’m simply the non-skank version.  I love me some Blake Lively, but hate that thing she does with her mouth.  And really, why does she dress in Herve Leger to walk to the park?

There are a few female celebs I always look to when I want to feel ugly get fashion ideas.  Truth be told, I have a major girl crush on the following, in no particular order:

Sienna Miller.

Since Sienna was in “Alfie” prancing around in not much clothing and waving her gorgeous, perfectly disheveled hair around, I have had a girl crush on her.  Other than “Stardust” (never seen it? It’s AHmazing. Seriously love it. Cross between “The Princess Bride” and…well I don’t know, but it’s great.), I am not quite sure what else I have liked Sienna in.  But I do know that I love looking at pictures of her and I love trying to get my hair to do what hers does.

Kristen Bell and Rachel Bilson, separately.

I love both of these girls for very different reasons, but one reason is the same: height.  Listed online as 5’1” and 5’2” respectively, they’re my height.  Now, the 5’2” for Rachel is pushing it. I think they rounded up.  Granted, in this picture KB’s in heels and RB’s in flats, I know for a fact (read: Kristen’s Twitter) that Kristen is 5’1” and Rachel looks to be that, or an inch shorter. So for the sole reason they’re my height, they each get a million cool points.

First, Kristen.  I don’t know when she was first brought to my attention, but after watching her in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and thinking how hilarious and cute she was, I Googled her (see my first post on love for Googling) and watched videos of her on Craig Ferguson and such.  This girl’s hilzarious.  I’m pretty sure I’d act like her in interviews (I think highly of myself).  I watch someone like Lauren Conrad on Ellen and think to myself, “Self, Lauren Conrad is so boring.  She doesn’t even make jokes!” Then I realize, not everyone is as funny as I.  Anywhoo, I love KBell.

As for Rachel, I first noticed her from her height alone.  I never watched The O.C. and hated “Jumper.”  However, I love me some R Bils.  Her outfits are to die for, and well, she’s short.  So keep on doin’ what you’re doin’, Rach, and I’ll keep stalkin’ (from a court ordered distance of 50 feet). Juuuuust kidding. Or am I? (I am.) Plus, we drive the same ride.  No, I didn’t buy it because she has one!

Sarah Michelle Gellar

Good ole SMG.  Sarah Michelle Gellar is my O.G. crush.  I’ve loved her since junior high when I’d obsessively like a good loner watched “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” I even named my first dog after her (Buffy, not Sarah).  I’m not calling SMG a bitch, I just loved her that much…  SMG can do no wrong in my eyes.  She can wear anything fug or not fug and I’ll love it.  She could sell me an oceanfront property in Arizona (I recently got the meaning of that song, but I digress). To top it off, SMG drives the same car as I, too! Yes, I bought it because she has one!

I know there are several more, but the Mac just died and I had to retrieve this post and lost my train of though.  ADD.

<3

Chatroulette… Per Perez Hilton’s tweets, I’ve heard of it.  I even browsed the site once, sans camera. I didn’t want the creepsters to see how dead sexy I look sitting at my computer.  All I saw was nerdy dudes (not the hot kind of nerds) mezmorized by the screen waiting for a hottie to come along and chat.

I never, EVER, saw this: